Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Really?!? with Nori - SNL: Jury Duty

So I spent fifteen hours at jury duty in the last two days which brings me to the segment i like to call . . . Really?!? with Nori. So, I spent four hours on the light rail just to get to pheonix and back. But I met some delightful people while on it. In the very first hour on the light rail, I recieved two phone numbers from Sam and Jerry. Not to be confused with the cat and mouse rivalry nor the ice cream product. They were two creepy forty-year-old men who chose to hit on a twenty-year-old. i mean, really? Really?!? Then I get to Phoenix and got off the wrong stop. So I walked about five blocks to where I needed to be. During the walk a thirty-year-old man who was only wearing spandex decided to run up to me and tell me I had beautiful hair. i mean, really?! keep it to yourself buddy, the comment and the show of skin. no one wants to see that. then I went to the wrong building so another thirty-year-old man decided to help me find the right one, which just happened to be the really big one right next to it. really?! i know I am not the brightest crayon in the box, but I'm pretty sure I could've figured it out. I finally got in the right room and waited there for five hours. I read Twilight (that whole book can be an entire segment of really?!?), I watched Marley and Me (the dog dies, not so much a shocker), and looked around at strange looking people. I don't know how people can just leave their house looking the way they do. I am no fashion expert, but whoever thought a - Stones tube dress, brown polka dotted Elizabethan-esque shrug, shiny too tight leggings, hot pink halter top, and her lacy bra poking out of the top - was a good idea is seriously disturbed. i mean, really?!? When I finally got into the courtroom for the jury selection process, everyone decided it was a good time to tell the the judge not only about their kids but also all of their eight pets. No one cares! we don't want to know how you met your wife or who introduced you to her, they just want a yes or no answer if you're married. And i'm sorry that your car got stolen twenty years ago and they never caught the perp, but we don't want to listen to a fifteen minute venting session on it. Just yes or no people! And when they ask a question, listen! Don't ask the judge and attorneys to repeat it six times!! really?! it's not that difficult! So since everyone decided to tell their life stories, we were in there for four hours until closing time. So the judge told us all to come back the next day but only after he told us the origin of cinco de mayo. really?! why didn't you just use that ten minutes to pick the jury buddy! so i went back the next day with a book and headphones so that i could ignore all people. When I finally got there, the defendant took the plea bargan and we were all dismissed. really?! you couldn't have decided that months ago! but i guess then i wouldn't have got to learn about the lives of fifty strangers. i'm just glad that i wasted fifteen hours of my life on the judicial system.

Moral of the Story: “Parents, if your kid says Michael Phelps smokes pot, why can’t I? Say you can, as soon as you win 12 gold medals for your country.”


  1. HA!!! Sorry, Nor! You always get the interesting stories. And totally...you ruined Marley and Me for me - good thing I wasn't going to see it. Oh, and prep to teach me of light rail this summer. It'll become my friend soon...

  2. I think you have forgotten that the Cat & Mouse duo/ice cream franchise is "BEN & Jerry". Just saying. Oh, and I love you. And your stories. And look at the bright side: at least none of the guys gave you a survey this time.

  3. I missed it... What's the connection between the story and the moral of the story? The only connection I'm picking up on is Spandex: Michael Phelps, guy hitting on you...