The Road to Eternal Marriage Has Never Been Longer

I had my first experience of a Singles Ward this last Sunday. I guess that's not entirely true. I have been going to a singles ward at BYU for the last two years but BYU wards are in an entirely different category. Anyway, I go into our stake's singles ward which starts at 3:00, which by the way is ridiculous. No church should start that late. So I get there about five minutes early and practically no one is there. Everyone still shows up late even when it starts at 3. So a few minutes after the meeting starts, this guy comes in and sits by me. We'll call him Joe, which may or may not be his real name. Joe starts chatting it up with me. He wanted me to talk to him, so in effort to not hurt his feelings, I told him I would but I lost my voice. To which he quickly replied, "That's fine. I can talk enough for the both of us." Oh joy! I just wanted to enjoy sacrament meeting without being hit on. Finally the meeting concluded, which just so happened to be on charity, and yet I felt the opposite of that to Joe. I tried to slip away as fast as possible but he was able to give me a little present before I left. This present was a slip of paper entitled, "Dating Survey." Questions included: 1. Male or Female? 2. What qualities, other than "looks," makes a good first impression? and 3. What do you consider a fun, inexpensive date? Joe asked if I would fill out the survey and return it to him with my phone number by the end of church. You have got to be kidding me?! I've heard stories like these about singles ward but I never assumed them to be actually true. Furthermore, it did not end there. He kept following me around to see which Sunday School class I was going to. I finally lost him in Marriage Prep, but I had to endure an hour amongst couples massaging each other. I hate people in love. I finally left after the second hour not being able to stand any more of it. I am starting to question whether I should go inactive this summer. . . Totally kidding! The church is true even in a singles ward. However, I have learned to sit by the wall and avoid boys named Joe.

Moral of the Story: Marrying a guy after knowing him for two weeks is the way to go if it gets you out of a singles ward that much sooner.